I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
