I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
