Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
