his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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