im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
