I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
