i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
