I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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