also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
