So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize