what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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