You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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