I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize