No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
