The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
