I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
