The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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