I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
