I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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