I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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