Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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