i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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