I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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