I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You took a bar mat shot.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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