He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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