the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
