Fuck appropriateness.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
