the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
ttyl tear gas
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
