I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
