well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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