so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
