who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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