I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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