So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
