Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
that's an acceptable place to lick
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
