he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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