Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
