This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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