im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize