I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
