belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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