I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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