im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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