Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
