I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
