he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
