This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
