ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
