I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
