it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
