never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
