Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
