Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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