And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
