She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
