Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
