She's JV to your varsity
I am in a vortex of obligation.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Randomize
