Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
