Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
