I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
