why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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