Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
