are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
